i dont know when i made it an art. probably about 15 years ago, when i started putting on the poundage.
started out going in front, lifting up the sack and pulling through. now i reach around and dig it clean.
always a roller, no bunching. dreaded fear of finger popping through a hole in the bunch, rolling much safer.
it is difficult to remember when i did not use wipes, until i am caught without them, which is rare. now i always have them close.
probably law school. the drinking was followed by bloody tp. not soaking or copious amounts, just the sort of abraised kinda streaky blood. nonetheless is did not sit well. thus began utilizing wet tp and with a gingerly touch.
for the heavy flow days, ass pads were brought in. usually the generic circular pads soaked in witch hazel. after regular tp (once again, rolled, not bunched) a nice, cool cleansing pad of cotton and witch hazel.
then, i was in the grocery store, and there it was. a little white box. it said "flushable". it was one of those days that change your life.
look, we all shit. you shit your ass off at times. i shit about twice a day. when alcohol is consumed the night before, maybe three, four or five times the next day. all of that wiping causes abrasion. if you dont wipe, you get skid marks. so you wipe, abrade and endure the pain and blood.
wipes take that away. they gloriously, easily and most pleasurably remove the feces from your anus and flabby area in a way that the dry stuff cant touch.
my system now is thus: roll up tp and go in for the main removal of debris. depending on how that feels and looks, and yes, everyone looks at the wipe, just fucking admit it asshole. if you attempt to say you dont look at your wipes, then you have skidmarks you fucking stinkpot-loser.
anyway, maybe a second tp is needed. then, go in with the wipe. cool, damp, clean smooth...and more. fold it over and use it again to mop up with and you are done.
because of this, the witch hazel pads are not needed much anymore, but if they are, then you take one and jam it in your sphincter and squeeze that fluid into your ass and keep it there while it shuts all your capillaries down there down. sometimes pulling out that ass pad kinda feels good, sort of like relief.
anyway, thats pinching a loaf. go get some wipes. you have to use them fast or some brands will disintigrate during a wipe and that is not fun. thinking ahead, pull a few wipes out of the box and put them in a sandwich ziplock. you can carry this around with you on your person, or stash it in the car or at work. i have boxes everywhere, in every bathroom, in the car, at work, in my traveling bags and gym bag, in my locker at the fitness club i never go to, at my parents house, hidden so they dont get all used up, my parents have since joined the fun, but i use my own anyway. when i'm there.
UPDATE 11.30.09: new stuff. take witch hazel and dump some of it in the wipes tub. instant medicated pads, but ones you wipe with. i keep a tub away from the dumper and have sharpied "danger" on it to alert anyone unfamiliar.
