Monday, June 30, 2008
slightly useful interweb page
now and again i head to this page, it takes your phone number and gives you the alpha permutations of it
Sunday, June 29, 2008
hats 1
people wearing hats these days are out of fucking control. at a really hot & humid outdoor concert i swear it was this exact chick here in this photo wearing a knit fucking hat. what a fucking retard!!! clearly she was wearing it as a fashion statement, it wasnt like she had cancer or anything, but apparently she was afflicted with not having any fashion sense.
then there is the cabbie hat, initially favored by latin-community women and now co-opted by scores of really, really fucking retarded people. how does any human being feel that this thing on their head makes them attractive?
it is not like the hats pictured below have any utilitarian use at all. the decor comes from some warped variation of a sailing hat or something. these things look really, really, really stupid on anyone.
unless the dude in the hat below has four square yards of dreadlocks crammed in the back and is token on a spliff, any person wearing the hat below must be shot. i need to know what possess people to wear this shit. cant one of you assholes who wear these goofy hats let me know why? i am begging you.
dollars to doughnuts no one responds.
you need to call these assholes on this chapeau pax.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
gourmet pet food
things are clearly out of hand.
i am all for decadance, especially my own. what i am not for is decadance for pets.
i just read usa today this morning and there was a story about gourmet dog food being crafted at hotels.
then, one of the few times i have seen a commercial (dvr) i saw one for this really gross cat food. what i can remember is that it was clear the cat food cost a shit load for a fucking cat. and to hear that people will be spending significant ducats on pets needlessly is really starting to stink.
there used to be the random will or trust left to a fucking pet, but now it appears that this type of disgusting treatment is starting to mainstream. it comes from people who have no family treating animals like family.
the problem is, these animals ARE FUCKING ANIMALS. especially those fucking cats. more on those assfucking useless pieces of shit in a later blog coming to you soon.
in any event, if you are one of these people treating a fucking animal better than that human being you stepped over last week on the sidewalk, fuck you, you suck and are warped.
i do not put animals on a higher level than humans, i put those lower humans on a level below me.
update 7.8.08 over the weekend i picked up a box of popsicles for the kids and right next to them in the store freezer were boxes of icecream treats FOR DOGS!!!!!
i am all for decadance, especially my own. what i am not for is decadance for pets.
i just read usa today this morning and there was a story about gourmet dog food being crafted at hotels.
then, one of the few times i have seen a commercial (dvr) i saw one for this really gross cat food. what i can remember is that it was clear the cat food cost a shit load for a fucking cat. and to hear that people will be spending significant ducats on pets needlessly is really starting to stink.
there used to be the random will or trust left to a fucking pet, but now it appears that this type of disgusting treatment is starting to mainstream. it comes from people who have no family treating animals like family.
the problem is, these animals ARE FUCKING ANIMALS. especially those fucking cats. more on those assfucking useless pieces of shit in a later blog coming to you soon.
in any event, if you are one of these people treating a fucking animal better than that human being you stepped over last week on the sidewalk, fuck you, you suck and are warped.
i do not put animals on a higher level than humans, i put those lower humans on a level below me.
update 7.8.08 over the weekend i picked up a box of popsicles for the kids and right next to them in the store freezer were boxes of icecream treats FOR DOGS!!!!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
fern hill
Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs
About the lilting house and happy as the grass was green,
The night above the dingle starry,
Time let me hail and climb
Golden in the heydays of his eyes,
And honoured among wagons I was prince of the apple towns
And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves
Trail with daisies and barley
Down the rivers of the windfall light.
And as I was green and carefree, famous among the barns
About the happy yard and singing as the farm was home,
In the sun that is young once only,
Time let me play and be
Golden in the mercy of his means,
And green and golden I was huntsman and herdsman, the calves
Sang to my horn, the foxes on the hills barked clear and cold,
And the sabbath rang slowly
In the pebbles of the holy streams.
All the sun long it was running, it was lovely, the hay
Fields high as the house, the tunes from the chimneys, it was air
And playing, lovely and watery
And fire green as grass.
And nightly under the simple stars
As I rode to sleep the owls were bearing the farm away,
All the moon long I heard, blessed among stables, the nightjars
Flying with the ricks, and the horses
Flashing into the dark.
And then to awake, and the farm, like a wanderer white
With the dew, come back, the cock on his shoulder: it was all
Shining, it was Adam and maiden,
The sky gathered again
And the sun grew round that very day.
So it must have been after the birth of the simple light
In the first, spinning place, the spellbound horses walking warm
Out of the whinnying green stable
On to the fields of praise.
And honoured among foxes and pheasants by the gay house
Under the new made clouds and happy as the heart was long,
In the sun born over and over,
I ran my heedless ways,
My wishes raced through the house high hay
And nothing I cared, at my sky blue trades, that time allows
In all his tuneful turning so few and such morning songs
Before the children green and golden
Follow him out of grace.
Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
In the moon that is always rising,
Nor that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
-dylan thomas
About the lilting house and happy as the grass was green,
The night above the dingle starry,
Time let me hail and climb
Golden in the heydays of his eyes,
And honoured among wagons I was prince of the apple towns
And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves
Trail with daisies and barley
Down the rivers of the windfall light.
And as I was green and carefree, famous among the barns
About the happy yard and singing as the farm was home,
In the sun that is young once only,
Time let me play and be
Golden in the mercy of his means,
And green and golden I was huntsman and herdsman, the calves
Sang to my horn, the foxes on the hills barked clear and cold,
And the sabbath rang slowly
In the pebbles of the holy streams.
All the sun long it was running, it was lovely, the hay
Fields high as the house, the tunes from the chimneys, it was air
And playing, lovely and watery
And fire green as grass.
And nightly under the simple stars
As I rode to sleep the owls were bearing the farm away,
All the moon long I heard, blessed among stables, the nightjars
Flying with the ricks, and the horses
Flashing into the dark.
And then to awake, and the farm, like a wanderer white
With the dew, come back, the cock on his shoulder: it was all
Shining, it was Adam and maiden,
The sky gathered again
And the sun grew round that very day.
So it must have been after the birth of the simple light
In the first, spinning place, the spellbound horses walking warm
Out of the whinnying green stable
On to the fields of praise.
And honoured among foxes and pheasants by the gay house
Under the new made clouds and happy as the heart was long,
In the sun born over and over,
I ran my heedless ways,
My wishes raced through the house high hay
And nothing I cared, at my sky blue trades, that time allows
In all his tuneful turning so few and such morning songs
Before the children green and golden
Follow him out of grace.
Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
In the moon that is always rising,
Nor that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
-dylan thomas
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
goya
the food brand jackass.
if you go by this aisle, then you are missing a bunch.
to start, their prices are the lowest and it is good stuff.
the canned goods prices kick ass and are of the same quality. it is not imported stuff, the company was founded by spainards and operates out of new jersey.
almost every time i go to the store i stop and pick out something i never tried before.
the marinade, i think it is simply called mojo is wicked. a massive wine-bottle of it for 2 bucks. it make steak mouthwatering.
sure there is cuttlefish in little tins and shit i would not normally eat, but that stuff gets outweighed by what you would eat if you just stopped by and tried something other than riceafuckingroni.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
finger pointers
if you attend concerts, you are familiar with this brand of youth. in short, they point their fingers in the air to the beat.
some of them will fist pound the air, some will do other things, all thrust the arm in the air in a rhythmic manner. when you get them close together, it becomes a sea of finger pointers, sort of cool, UNLESS THEY ARE BLOCKING YOUR FUCKING VIEW OF THE ARTISTS YOU HAVE PAID TO SEE ONSTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont have a problem with the occasional finger point, but these assholes who seem to be feeling that somehow they are a part of the performance are the ones which begin the annoyance.
most finger pointers are singing lyrics and feel that the finger point, in some way, instructs the artist who wrote the music and lyrics and is now singing them, that these lyrics and the music are correct and the finger pointer is attempting to communicate with the artist and the crowd to say "yes, you have written music and lyrics, and you are now performing them in a correct manner with which i agree".
time and again you will see the hefty, drunk guy incessantly salute every half-beat for about three songs before he realizes that his arm has fallen off. truly, the best friend of an offended-non-finger-pointer is time. in time, all finger pointers get tired, so at least by the end of the concert, and even for encores, the fingerpointers are done.
there are variations on the finger point. most common is the index finger and pinky pointed up in the air with the middle finger and ring finger tucked into the palm. the thumb is a variable here....tucked in to the palm you get the "hook-em-horns" thing and straight out you get the sign language formation of "i love you". either one is equally retarded in the setting. next is the fist, then peace sign, which brings us to............
the uber finger pointer. always a female. most frequently a chubby one and not really all that attractive. this person will rely most on the finger point, but will contort the hand(s) in may different shapes in some sort of hindu/yoga/"i am a complete retard who has hand motions which only i can understand" way.
this person is clearly an egotistic fuck who screams for attention. getting two hands and arms into the act as well and goofy body movements which may be some sort of adaption of a walrus mating ritual they saw on the nature channel. if you are behind this person and close, it will ruin the concert. i suggest halls eucylptus lozenges. suck em for a while and toss it into her hair. after trying to get the third one out she will move.
why these assfuckers drive me to blog about them is confounding to me. you cant just say "dont look at her" because she is right in front of you and you have to look past her to see the performers. if she is just to the right or left, the arms and hands rolling around in the air cant be ignored. of course they do this with their eyes closed because of the intense hate every other eye has for the bitch she does not want to see.
at the last concert, the whores boyfriend would not sit with her because of her gyrations. good for you buddy, put a bag on her head too!
you need to say something to these fucks. tell them they are bothering you. go get an usher and ask them to tell her to stop it. your neighbors will join in and hopefully she will go away, not just stop, but go away. have the usher check her ticket stub. most of these assholes can't afford good seats so she probably is scamming the seat anyway and you are doing everyone a favor. you will get cudos from your neighbors, i assure a spliff will pass your way.
finally, urge venues to have "finger pointing sections only". this will force all finger pointers to suffer what normal people do. they will see how retarded it is and complain. it also will allow free viewing cuz as soon as some jackass finger points in a non-finger pointing section, you can get them bounced.
stand up for your right to enjoy a concert without an asshole ruining it for you and the rest of us.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
beautiful world
Its a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care
Makes me want to say
Its a beautiful world
Its a beautiful world
Its a beautiful world
For you, for you, for you
Its a wonderful time to be here
Its nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair
Makes me want to say
Its a wonderful place
Its a wonderful place
Its a wonderful place
For you, for you, for you
Hey tell me what I see
Boy and girl with the new clothes on
You can shake it to me all night long hey hey
Its a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care
Makes me want to say
Its a beautiful world
Its a beautiful world
Its a beautiful world
For you, for you, for you
-mark mothersbaugh & gerry v. casale(devo jackass)
listen to it here
watch the video on you tube here
Thursday, June 19, 2008
hdtv
if you do not have an hdtv by now, you are a loser. (more on losers in an earlier post)
do not save your money for later, use it now to watch programs in high-definition. and sack the cable you have, satellite is far better. you may be surprised to know that you already can receive hd signals over the air. in fact, those signals are far superior to cable, and better than satellite.
get more than one hdtv. spend your money, dont wait, you might die. enjoy what technological advances we have. these sets are getting pretty cheap too. for gods sake, with the price of gas, if you dont fill up ten times, you can buy a decent 46 incher. dont worry about what format, just get the biggest screen for the least amount of money.
if you are not sending money to help starving children in africa, then spend the shit on yourself. if you dont, then you are one cheapassmotherfucker.
you'll thank me later.
do not save your money for later, use it now to watch programs in high-definition. and sack the cable you have, satellite is far better. you may be surprised to know that you already can receive hd signals over the air. in fact, those signals are far superior to cable, and better than satellite.
get more than one hdtv. spend your money, dont wait, you might die. enjoy what technological advances we have. these sets are getting pretty cheap too. for gods sake, with the price of gas, if you dont fill up ten times, you can buy a decent 46 incher. dont worry about what format, just get the biggest screen for the least amount of money.
if you are not sending money to help starving children in africa, then spend the shit on yourself. if you dont, then you are one cheapassmotherfucker.
you'll thank me later.
Monday, June 16, 2008
i am voting republican
i finally am doing it, this persuasive video is the reason why:
Spread the word!
Spread the word!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
stupid people
chances are you are not stupid. i do not make this statement because you are reading this blog, but because you are on a computer, reading.
it is a blessing(not a religious blessing, an unassociated-god one) to be smart. it is also, somewhat of a pain in the intellectual ass. stupid people dont really know they are stupid, so many things they should be concerned about they are too stupid to be concerned.
it's sort of like being retarded. you dont have the worries of the world, your worry is immediate...where do i pee, when do i eat next, i hope the yankess win. most retarded folk are blissfully ignorant about the deficit, global warming and your cheating spouse. we give them a pass on this because they, for the most part, dont have regular consensual sex like you and me, or at least like me.
stupid people on the other hand have the drive to have sex. it is the stupid people who get caught cheating on their spouses. their stupidity is not in getting caught, but in not being faithful and addressing the marriage.
the stupid people are responsible for abortion. i aint no holy roller, but really, abortion is only the result of stupidness. on both parties part. clearly if sex was had without contraception, then fuck you, you are stupid if you get pregnant or get some female pregnant.
stupid people work the jobs you dont want to do. if they were not stupid, they would have better jobs. the world needs ditch diggers too.
many times each day, i catch myself thinking i am so happy i am edumacated. i always am assessing my kids to see if they are stupid, but it is hard to tell sometimes, but i think they are ok.
anyway, chances are you are not stupid
it is a blessing(not a religious blessing, an unassociated-god one) to be smart. it is also, somewhat of a pain in the intellectual ass. stupid people dont really know they are stupid, so many things they should be concerned about they are too stupid to be concerned.
it's sort of like being retarded. you dont have the worries of the world, your worry is immediate...where do i pee, when do i eat next, i hope the yankess win. most retarded folk are blissfully ignorant about the deficit, global warming and your cheating spouse. we give them a pass on this because they, for the most part, dont have regular consensual sex like you and me, or at least like me.
stupid people on the other hand have the drive to have sex. it is the stupid people who get caught cheating on their spouses. their stupidity is not in getting caught, but in not being faithful and addressing the marriage.
the stupid people are responsible for abortion. i aint no holy roller, but really, abortion is only the result of stupidness. on both parties part. clearly if sex was had without contraception, then fuck you, you are stupid if you get pregnant or get some female pregnant.
stupid people work the jobs you dont want to do. if they were not stupid, they would have better jobs. the world needs ditch diggers too.
many times each day, i catch myself thinking i am so happy i am edumacated. i always am assessing my kids to see if they are stupid, but it is hard to tell sometimes, but i think they are ok.
anyway, chances are you are not stupid
Monday, June 2, 2008
this must be the place (naive melody)
Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing
Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up and say goodnight . . . say goodnight
Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home - she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this is where I'll be . . . where I'll be
Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh
written by: Chris Frantz, David Byrne, Jerry Harrison, Tina Weymouth (Talking Heads jackass)
listen to it here
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