who cares who is president

just as long as the fucking moron that you voted for is gone. unless obackarama has a spitzer-type meltdown, he is going to be next president, but say the old dude pulls an upset. it can not be worse than this jackass.

you cant blame the codger for trying to sap out what he can from the worst president to ever hold office, i mean there still is a small number of people who actually believe he has done well. might as well snap up those that are completely fucked in the head, a vote is a vote.

it might not really be an upset if this geriatric fellow wins. all you clueless fucks who voted for killing tens of thousands of people over the past 8 years might feel that you were fooled, but not this time and thats because you fucked up so bad, maybe you will try to make your party right again by putting in the oldest dude ever!!! i would not put it past any single one of you total fucking morons that validated our failing economy and standing in the world community. you fell right into rove's plan. you are a lemming afraid of death. so why follow the constitution? who needs our rights of privacy? surely not a law abiding citizen like yourself who has their head up their ass and voted for a TOTAL FUCKING MORON WHO CAN NOT EVEN SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE PROPERLY twice!!!

hey, you only have yourself to blame. you voted for this group of people who could care less about human life. you are to blame for this crisis, not me, i was calling him a total fucking moron before he got the nomination the first time. i would have lost money cuz i did not think that buttfuck could win, but you proved me wrong republicans, you proved me wrong.

republicans truly are stupid, stupid fucks, and will not learn because they are so fucking stupid. rove knows this, now you have read it, but you wont believe it, so if you voted for bush twice, fuck you asshole and i hope you die.

2 weeks vacation

a couple years ago i heard a story on npr about vacation stuff in the u.s. versus the rest of the world that works for living.

if you are well-read, then you know how much vacation time the europeans get and this story was about how we americans dont take as much time in one block as the rest of the world. it seems to me that i used to, and i see that my friends and family tend to jam vacations full with as much, or more, stress as work.

gary slydecker and his family are fucking sharks on vacation. wake up, go to the zoo, then the childrens museum, then back to a science pavillion, hump to local cultural hotspot, meeting the mayor and making a pilgramage to some historical landmark all before noon.

we used to go down to florida for a week. leave friday, drive straight through, get there saturday, need saturday & sunday to sort of recoup from the drive. before you think your brilliant, flying would have the same stress, but with more expense.

so then the vacation starts. on the beach hanging out, oh, but then what about disney? gotta trek to orlando for a day and a half, waste a shitload of dough on supreme evil, then back to the condo for a day of relaxation before we have to start packing up and going back home.

it fucking sucked.

now, we leave on thursday, drive straight through, get there friday, recoup, hang out maybe think about doing something in orlando, but now have 14 days to get it over with. we got fucked by the evil kingdom so we do other places less evil like seaworld & universal.

all the fucking time in the world. for two days, i never left the condo, got up, made brekky brekky brek for a shit load of family, played some halo & mass effect, went out with the kids on the beach for a couple hours, in for lunch and more xbox, then out to the pool for few hours of floating, then in for dinner, tv, xbox then sex. repeat for the next day (minus the sex. even thought the ocean does wonder for your sex life, two nights in a row is simply two much to expect)

with the vacations coming up, please, take at least two weeks. you are not needed at your job. if you run your own business, close it for two weeks, you wont go broke and you wont lose your customers, they will only want you more, and they will envy you that you had the balls to do it.

holiday in cambodia

So you been to school for a year or two
And you know you’ve seen it all
In daddy’s car thinkin’ you’ll go far
Back East your type don’t crawl
Play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz
On your five grand stereo
Braggin’ that you know how the niggers feel cold
And the slums got so much soul
It’s time to taste what you most fear
Right Guard will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear
It’s a holiday in Cambodia
It’s tough kid, but it’s life
It’s a holiday in Cambodia
Don’t forget to pack a wife
You’re a star-belly sneech you suck like a leech
You want everyone to act like you
Kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich
But your boss gets richer off you
Well you’ll work harder with a gun in your back
For a bowl of rice a day
Slave for soldiers ‘til you starve
then your head is skewered on a stake
Now you can go where people are one
Now you can go where they get things done
What you need, my son…
Is a holiday in Cambodia
Where people dress in black
A holiday in Cambodia
Where you’ll kiss ass or crack
Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, etc.
And it’s a holiday in Cambodia
Where you’ll do what you’re told
A holiday in Cambodia
Where the slum’s got so much soul

dead kennedys-listen to it here

grand theft auto iv

something weird happened.

yesterday, i was driving back to the office and noticed i was weaving in and out of traffic. i started chuckling to myself and THEN i saw i was going 90mph.

i am not joking.

everything was pretty smooth though, just weaving in and out of some fairly heavy traffic at 90. i was not in a hurry. didnt have to pee. who the fuck wants to go back to the office?

it was my daily playing gta iv. all you do is drive around fast and try not to get in an accident.

what this means is i am going to vet my kids on gta iv before they get behind the wheel. if they can make it from southern new aldernay to northern bohan without an accident or running a redlight, then i will take them for a learners permit.

thank you rockstar for creating this game which will teach safety to all new drivers.

singers that want you to clap

the easiest way to ferret out asshole singers is to see if they make these asides during singing like "cmon" and clap above their heads.

maybe they do something like "lets hear some noise" and make clapping motions.

now, why do they do this? because you are not a drone idiot jackass and are not clapping? is this fucking singers ego is not inflated enough and wants people to react to its patheticness?

you dont see the big stars doing this. now dont go trying to make me wrong. when i say "the big stars" i am not referring to the shitty fucking processed meat your kids listen to sung by marginally attractively made up little people who are destined for suicide when in just a few years their candle is properly drowned.

"big stars" means those artists that write and evenplay their own stuff, that have been around for years, that dont lip synch, that actually have musical talent and ability. they have made it, and dont need to do anything to get you to clap because you probably already are, or it comes naturally.

these losers who storm the stage, jumping, trying to artificially infuse emotion into their "new" song they just hijacked from an old catalog, dont have anything that is natural except being a loser inside.

so, dont. make sure you dont clap. teach your children well, teach them to not take direction from some alcholic, drug-infused hack they listen to. do not join the masses. pretend you have a real mess-o-education and can stand and clap when you feel it is prudent and earned.

time with kids

if you are a parent of children age 12 and younger, then stop reading this and go do something with them, unless of course, they are asleep.

i have made a point to not work as hard and to spend time with my children and it is awesome! sure, i could be making more money, but money aint worth what i get.

i further have decided to keep it going as long as they will let me. this does not mean the cheap and lazy attendance at ball games and shuttling to lessons of some sort. i aim to make the time worth it.

like i am teaching one to watercolor, one the guitar, keep reading to the youngest, and the oldest i am still trying to figure out how to get some one-on-one time with.

screw making money, that is time away for things that will keep us further apart. how wonderful it must have been in the early stages of man, just waking up with the family, checking to see if there is enough food for the day, if not, taking the boys and hunting for food.

that would be sweet.

stopping by the woods on a snowy evening

whose woods these are i think i know
his house is in the village though
he will not see me stopping here
to watch his woods fill up with snow

my little horse must think it queer
to stop without a farmhouse near
between the woods and frozen lake
the darkest evening of the year

he gives his harness bells a shake
to ask if there is some mistake
the only other sounds the sweep
easy wind and downy flake

the woods are lovely, dark and deep
but i have promises to keep
and miles to go before i sleep
and miles to go before i sleep

-robert frost

its a small world

can we do away with this saying? please? its almost like there is a rush to be the first one to say it. ok, i get it, you met someone on the earth you knew or knows kevin bacon.

i dont get it anyway. we do live in a world which is only a speck in the big picture, so it is not big. jupiter is fucking big, the earth is small.

with jet travel, and more money, getting anywhere on the earth is really fucking easy right now, so it is not incomprehensible that your cousin would see you in hong kong tagging little girls in the same brothel.

kate beckinsale

this chick has got to be the hottest actress out there right now. clearly, she is one of the hottest.

sunset (bird of prey)

Bird of prey,
Bird of prey,
Flying high,
Flying high.
In the summer sky,
Flying high.
Gently passing by,
Flying high.
Take me on your flight.
Flying high.

-fatboy slim

listen to it here

sunday mass (or put in whatever ritual you want)

it is quite simple. how do you, a person so afraid of dying that you believe so easily in a supreme being, justify going to mass? or if it is another religion you believe in, how do you justify bowing 5 times a day or chopping off portions of sexual organs? you get the point.

in all major tonics for the masses, there seems to be a unifying trait in love and treating each other with respect, and an afterlife of some sort...and ritual.

lets toss out that afterlife shit for right now. keep the love shit. we are left with ritual.

where do these rituals come from? they come from man. men, not women, men. some old dudes in your respective religion made these rituals up a long fucking time ago. like before you had any ancestors. back further than the mormons can trace. and these wicked old rituals you are following today.

since i am most familiar with the teachings of "jesus" i will use him:

do you think, if jesus was alive today, and he dropped in on a saturday, got drunk on some wine, toked the weed a little and then hit the hay, do you think that on sunday, when you said "jesus (not talking to him, but the exclamation) we are late for mass", and you bolted around the house and woke jesus (him) up and said "lets go christ" would he go? no fucking way. he would roll over and say "meet you there", which of course he would cuz he can just warp over there after he could sleep for another 15 minutes.

and when you all sat down, the music started playing the dirge like march that is the soundtrack to all white religion, then you stood up, then sat down, then stood up, then sat down then stood up, then sat down, then kneeled then stood up, then kneeled, then stood up and processed, then kneeled down, then sat, then stood up and left, dont you think he would say "what the fuck are you people doing"?

christ would be pretty pissed that you were doing all this to him and his father. christ would say "get the fuck out of here and love one another". "dont waste your time chanting and doing really pitiful aerobic exercise in my name". "if you want to get together, then have some fun, accomplish something, but dont worship me".

the son of god would be pretty embarrassed this all was done for him and his dad. wouldnt you be embarassed? really, wouldnt you? would you allow it to go on. if you woke up one day and people were chanting, singing in dirge-like fashion, trying to figure out how to sit in those fucking benches, and giving money to an organization that supports the molestation of children in your name(see image above), would you let it go on?

no, you wouldnt.

depravity

zuti said "no matter what type of depravity you hear a human being has perpetrated, something worse will come along". absolutely mutherfucking goddamned right.

the deep feeling of satisfaction that comes with looking at my children as they sleep is the negative equivalent with the deep feeling of disgust that comes with hearing the latest depravity.

lets not talk of the incomprehensibility of the millions of total fucking morons that voted for bush the first time, and then you same assfucking stupid fucking idiots that did it again, while you and bush and his evil assfucking buttlickers are truly fitting the definition of depravity :

noun
1. moral perversion; impairment of virtue and moral principles; "the luxury and corruption among the upper classes"; "moral degeneracy followed intellectual degeneration"; "its brothels, its opium parlors, its depravity"; "Rome had fallen into moral putrefaction" [syn: corruption]
2. a corrupt or depraved or degenerate act or practice; "the various turpitudes of modern society"

your vote, your horrible selfish decision, your fear, pales in comparison to some of the things happening in our world.

things that you turn the tv off for because you dont want to here it anymore. things like infanticide, war, torture and terminal illness. lately, and i am sure you do not read the times(you voted for bush you fucking moron), or any responsible news outlet, so you have no ability to comprehend what is happening with the corporate greed you supported the past 7 years beyond a sound bite while you pull your polo shirt over yout head on your way to dinner out.

the latest depraved statements i have been hearing from you assholes that voted for the worst president in our history is this exclamation "and i voted for him"...like you somehow were fooled.

you were not fooled, you are depraved.

canvas grocery bags

this is an easy what the fuck?

unless you are a wicked old lady who buys those small cans of corn and one potato at a time, the canvas bags the supermarkets are pushing are the most ludicrous waste of money ever.

when i go the grocery store, i spend over a hundred bucks. those canvas bags can maybe hold a roast. if they are such a money saver, why dont the stores let us use them instead of the plastic shit they give us now?

they could rent them in a way. for christ sake every store has its own card that keeps track of how many enemas and condoms you purchase, so let them track the canvas bags. if you dont bring them back, then charge us.

in any event, make those fuckers bigger, or have a couple sizes. i buy alot of food, i dont need a shit load of canvas bags with one item in it.

music makes life better

true faith

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty

I don't care 'cos I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the thing that costs you too much

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun

When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see

That's the price that we all pay
Value destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there's just no way of knowing

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty

The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I feel you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun

words and music by Stephen Morris, Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner, Gillian Gilbert and Stephen Hague(new order, jackass) to listen to it click here

visors

visors are for losers, especially if you have a y chromosome. just wear the fucking hat people.

i can see the use of visors for women who have the long hair, but even then you can funnel it through the hole made for the adjustable strap.

if you want to look retarded, then surely, go ahead and wear one. it will assure you a loss in whatever you are doing.

phil mickleson was a loser until he graduated to a cap. he kept on wearing the visor, looking like a retard, and kept losing. you can bank on any golfer losing the match if he wears a visor. this does not work for women golfers. one thing that does though, women golfers who wear visors are not attractive.

then you have the cadre of, i guess, west coast blonde dudes wearing visors. they look like fucking retards. i mean they really look like they have suffered a mental injury, or were born with a genetic mental problem.

visors suck no matter what, they are for losers. wear a fucking hat jackasses.

mexican food

it is the food of gods. if you dont like it, you have not eaten the real thing. you probably think chi chi's is mexican and that a taco is one from taco bell. im talking about the stuff that looks like this picture on the right.

mexican food is perhaps the easiest to make. some of it time consuming, but very easy. i have made tortillas from ground masa. dont go that far, i was an idiot. like not wasting your time making a pie crust, just buy your tortillas. for christs sake you can get them at gas stations now.

i can eat mexican food, three or four times a day, seven days in a row. it never gets old.


carnitas, tacos de carne asada, el sinolense, any day, every day.

girls in sports

i read this story in the usa today yesterday about a girls playoff softball game somewhere.

in a nutshell, a player jacked in the bottom of extra innings, then severely injured her leg negotiating the bases.

rules dictate that she touch home plate, without the assistance of her team mates. she attempted to crawl, but could not.

the opposing team confabbed with the umps, then picked up slugger and rounded the bases, allowing her to touch homeplate and complete the victory.

now, i aint no crybaby, but forwhatever reason, i almost was. i didnt wicked tear up, but my eyes welled up a tad. that shit is awesome. i dont think any mens team would do that, or at least many mens teams. i dont think i would have even thought of it, i would have laughed, like i did when i started reading the story. not a massive funny laugh, but the ha-ha kid from the simpsons.

here, the team that lost via a dinger, participated in making sure they lost. that is sportmanship. or i guess, sportwomanship.

link to espn video story here