chi-chi-chi- chia pet travolta

what in the name of all that is oscar is with barbarino's hair??!?!?!? he looks like a new fucking chia pet!!!!

that shit has got to be fake, right? i am at a loss but last night on the oscar show he looked really stupid. i thought i knew stuff, but i did not know he was hairless and that he had to stoop to this.

what is so wrong with losing hair? i just dont get it. some men look great with their lack of hair, crop it tight, shave it...who fucking cares but please dont put fake shit up. how long has he been shining us on?

someone please tell this guy that we all know he is got some hair loss going on and he will still get work in the industry. god, i would hate to be near him when that shit starts falling off his head like some worn steel wool pad or something.

matt lauer is a miracle to us in the form of morning tv no-balls

this morning matt lauer was gushing about interviewing the family of a baby which was found alive after his house was destroyed and his mother killed by a tornado, where else but in a godforsaken state which is useless to me...tennessee.

as i put my matching polo socks, adidas shirt & sneakers, dockers boxers and brooks brothers cardigan on, i watched in horror as the packaged piece about this little human used the word "miracle" about ten times in various manners by various people.

you all know what i am going to say...this was no fucking miracle. jesus age christ, a miracle is when someone raises from the dead, or you turn around and have fifteen billion gallons of wine when before you had spit, or when you put your last c-note on this 5-1 shot and just as the gates open the favorite breaks it's leg and wipes out two other rides as yours pulls away cleanly ftw.

but listening to matt lauer, i thought he was gonna run for president! "tell us about this real-life miracle baby". the "miracle" was that the fucking joker that found him found him in time. in tennessee they do their job. if i am going to be in a disaster, i want to be in one in tennesee. especially so that it wont be useless to me.

i can just imagine all the stupid fuckers in the viewing audience shaking their heads slowly, agreeing with this ball-less fuck lauer, saying things to themselves like "oh my god, what a miracle" and "truly this was the work of the lord and saviour" and "THE FUCKING BABY DID NOT GET KILLED. IT HAPPENS WITH TORNADOES ALL THE FUCKING TIME PEOPLE".

ok, that last one was all the people like you.

recipie for feeding kids

ok then, i have four kids and finally hit on a dish that is wicked easy to make and quite edible while being somewhat nutritious.

it utilizies tortiallas and start with the small, taco sized flour ones.

go buy a roasted chicken and strip off all the meat while eating the skin.

get some ground beef or other meat of your choice and brown it up, add some salt, ketchup & mustard, not too much. here you can add the american cheese if you want, more on cheese down a couple paragraphs.

while ground beef is browning slowly...

take the chicken and put it on a cutting surface. pile some cheeses on it. use ones that are melty like mozz or mont jack, include cheddar, kids love american, but buy american cheese, not that "cheese product" shit. stick a fucking crowbar in your wallet and buy the good stuff. anyways, put some cheeses on it, then sprinkle a little cumin, not too much, maybe a teaspoon. then take a wicked sharp knife and run it through the pile a few times.

now get the package of tortillas, take them out of the plastic and put them on a plate with a wet paper towel on top, put in microwave for two minutes on high. when times up, take them out and to simply put about two tablespoons of meat mixtures in the tortilla and wrap it up, seam side down. if the tortillas are popping open on you, then heat them up more until they dont unroll.

once done, place them on a microwave safe plate, cover and when ready to serve, bust them for about two minutes on high.

save the rest for snacks around 11:30pm right before bed.

valentines day is for suckers like you

verizon is advertising that you should get your "valentine" a new phone!!! jesus fucking christ, when did valentines day become this retarded-must for losers. a new cell phone? why not a new car, but at least, go to some shitty jeweler and buy some shitty bauble in the shape of a modern looking heart or something.

valentines day is for kids to give each other pieces of paper with comic book characters on it and waste time in school instead of learning something. do you think the japanese or chinese have a valentines day?!?!?!?!? no fucking way, they have a day when you only have to work for 8 hours on your studies instead of 12 each day.

do developing countries spend money on useless expressions of guilt? no fucking way, they make the useless items we americans spend our money on.

if you are a mature individual, you do not need a fucking present from your current sex-partner to proclaim your affiliation. if you are being pressured by a person (read female) that valentines day is coming and you need to do something, drop that person like a hot rock, much like a woman who proclaims to be a vegetarian. you dont need this sort of nightmarish person who needs money spent on them to fulfill some empty need in her empty fucking noggin.

just like mothers day and fathers day, hallmark made these things into the monsters they are. take whatever money you were going to spend on the loser you are banging, or trying to bang, and donate it to the human fund.

i get my wife things when i feel like it, i dont need some fucking corporate freight train to remind and urge me to spend it at one particular point in time. who the fuck was this st. valentine anyway?