this morning matt lauer was gushing about interviewing the family of a baby which was found alive after his house was destroyed and his mother killed by a tornado, where else but in a godforsaken state which is useless to me...tennessee.
as i put my matching polo socks, adidas shirt & sneakers, dockers boxers and brooks brothers cardigan on, i watched in horror as the packaged piece about this little human used the word "miracle" about ten times in various manners by various people.
you all know what i am going to say...this was no fucking miracle. jesus age christ, a miracle is when someone raises from the dead, or you turn around and have fifteen billion gallons of wine when before you had spit, or when you put your last c-note on this 5-1 shot and just as the gates open the favorite breaks it's leg and wipes out two other rides as yours pulls away cleanly ftw.
but listening to matt lauer, i thought he was gonna run for president! "tell us about this real-life miracle baby". the "miracle" was that the fucking joker that found him found him in time. in tennessee they do their job. if i am going to be in a disaster, i want to be in one in tennesee. especially so that it wont be useless to me.
i can just imagine all the stupid fuckers in the viewing audience shaking their heads slowly, agreeing with this ball-less fuck lauer, saying things to themselves like "oh my god, what a miracle" and "truly this was the work of the lord and saviour" and "THE FUCKING BABY DID NOT GET KILLED. IT HAPPENS WITH TORNADOES ALL THE FUCKING TIME PEOPLE".
ok, that last one was all the people like you.
